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[kirijo]

placeholder, i'll deal with this later

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[ Text (backdated to the start of the month) - To Kotone, Yukari, Ken | Locked to Shinjiro ]

[kirijo]

Good afternoon, everyone.

I'm writing to inform you all that it will be Aragaki-san's birthday soon. Given that we celebrated Amada-kun's recently, I thought it might be best to share this with you so that we could plan for festivities of some kind.

[whatsamada]

Is it really? I didn't know his birthday was coming up so soon!

[kirijo]

It is indeed. August 11th.

[piercedyourheart]

wow that is really soon
shinjiro senpai seems like the kind of guy whod completely hate a party
or anything else that would make a big deal out of his birthday
maybe we could do something lowkey?

[kirijo]

A good idea. As you say, Aragaki-san isn't one for anything elaborate. He'd probably enjoy something more subdued.

[foolaround]

hmmmmmmm (ʃ⌣́,⌣́ƪ)(ʃ⌣́,⌣́ƪ)(ʃ⌣́,⌣́ƪ)
maybe we could just make a cake and order from that one place he likes?

nothing big, but it'll show we care, y'know?

[kirijo]

I think Aragaki-san would enjoy that. It's simple enough that he won't think we're making too much of a fuss out of it.

[whatsamada]

Can I make the cake? I need to impress him after he helped me with mine!

[kirijo]

A splendid idea. Perhaps Kotone can offer some assistance, should you require it?

[foolaround]

omg ken ken ken ken it'll be so much FUN

do you wanna do this together or just keep me on standby???

[whatsamada]

We can do it together! I might need some help as I don't really know how to make a cake anyway.

[kirijo]

Good. Then the two of you can oversee that while Yukari and I arrange for the takeout.

Let us know if there are any ingredients you need.

text; un: piercedyourheart

[piercedyourheart]

[ yukari feels, against all odds, good. really good. she and mitsuru's talk by the campfire while on their delivery quest helped put a lot of things from the last few months into perspective, chief among them how her self-imposed isolation left her powerless, uncertain. afraid. now that those invisible burdens are lifted, she feels as if she could do anything.

or almost anything. because no matter how much she tries engaging mitsuru or kotone in conversation, there's barely any response. neither one of them are in the same room for long, if they leave their respective rooms at all. the mood in the house has never been cheery (they've all seen too much, done too much for that), but this time despair is borderline tangible.

whatever happened while they went on their quest was bad. still, yukari decides to wait this out. maybe it's something they'd mend in time and god knows everyone was patient with her while she wallowed in her emotions. she has faith s.e.e.s.'s field leader and club president will work things out on their own.

that attitude lasts one week and a half. yukari can't spend another breakfast standing idly by as mitsuru and kotone eat in total silence and stare at their food or the floor rather than each other. she leaves the house for an errand, if only to escape the crushing atmosphere, and pulls out her phone when her head clears a little. ]

okay i cant do this anymore
ever since you and kotone went on that trip both of you have been acting weird
so whats up? what happened

[kirijo]

[ Within a few seconds the message is marked as 'seen,' but an actual response isn't as forthcoming. After several minutes the dancing '...' of someone typing appears in the corner of the screen, but that proves to be a false start as Mitsuru discards whatever she was attempting to say and the icon vanishes.

[ The pattern repeats itself several times before a reply actually materializes. ]

I barely understand it myself.

[piercedyourheart]

mitsuru that literally doesnt explain anything
if you two had an argument thats fine
arguments happen
but this feels bigger than that, you cant even be in the same room

[ a pause as yukari thinks of another way to tackle this. ]

what do you think happened at least

[kirijo]

It wasn't an argument. Not exactly, at least.

[ She isn't trying to be obtuse this it's just ... difficult. It was painful to dwell on, much less discuss it and attempt ot parse through it all.

[ But, by now, she's also learned that simply wallowing in misery accomplishes nothing, so ...

[ She takes a deep breath and begins typing. ]

After we made camp at the end of our first day of travel, we had an opportunity to sit down and talk. To clear the air between us as you and I had.

At first that conversation went well. We apologized for worrying each other. Kotone admitted how much she's been struggling with the reality of her own death, and how difficult she finds discussing her problems.

[ Putting that into words brings the memory of the conversation's end rushing back to the forefront of her mind. She can see Kotone's wounded, heartbroken expression as clearly as she would if they were still standing there, and it dredges up a fresh wave of guilt and self-loathing. ]

Then, she brought up a [ She gets hung up here, and retypes the sentence several times before landing on: ] a previous discussion. One from before our final battle with Nyx.

[piercedyourheart]

[ the dots start and stop several times during mitsuru's messages. based on what she's saying, they should have come back feeling as rejuvenated as yukari did, but clearly many things had gone awry. ]

and the discussion from before nyx was....
bad? or okay but hard to talk about

[kirijo]

[ Mitsuru tries to explain it, but that very quickly devolves into typing, deleting, and re-wording the same paragraph of text over and over again.

[ How does one even begin to explain something like this ...?

[ Yukari knew some of it, of course. She had told her about how trapped she had felt by the expectations that came with her family name, how she felt as though the things that she could contribute were ignored on the basis of her sex, the reservations she had about her engagement and how thoroughly repugnant she found her fiance when he showed his true colors ...

[ But telling her that she had asked Kotone to run away with her? Explaining the feelings that drove that decision, even before she understood what they were?

[ Eventually, she just presses the backspace key and deletes all that she'd written. ]

I don't want to discuss this over text, Yukari. Can you come here, please?

[piercedyourheart]

[ she cares about mitsuru. really, she does. yukari can count her among the few she considers a true friend, someone she can rely on and trust with anything. someone for whom she has infinite patience because she gets how difficult opening up can be.

that does not stop the deep groan that wells up from the depths of her soul at that reply. ]

yeah i can do that
see you soon

[ she briskly walks back to the house, fingers quickly tapping on kotone's name in her contacts and typing a "what is going on?????" message. her thumb hovers over the send button for a long moment before she deleting it and closing the messaging app entirely. better to ask when she has a clearer picture of what exactly she's walking into.

yukari returns within fifteen minutes of her last message to mitsuru, almost tripping over her shoes in her hurry to kick them off. shinji is nowhere to be found--probably off doing his own thing and staying out of the emotional blast zone--and kotone's door is shut tight, no lights or noise coming from the other side. mitsuru's door is much the same.

it's only out of sheer respect for her upperclassman that yukari doesn't fling it open, sit down at the foot of her bed, and demand answers. instead, she knocks and waits, foot tapping and hands on her hips. ]

Mitsuru? Are you in there?

[kirijo]

[ Mitsuru doesn't keep her waiting. Moments after Yukari knocks, the door unlocks with an audible click and swings open.

[ To say that Mitsuru looks disheveled would be a gross overstatement, but her appearance isn't as immaculately styled as it typically is. She's still dressed, but there are a few wrinkles in her clothes. Her hair is still straightened and styled, but there are a few locks lingering out of place.

[ She looks tired. ]

Hello, Yukari.

[ She offers a small smile, stepping out of the way so her underclassman can step inside. ]

Thank you. For ... humoring me, I suppose.

[piercedyourheart]

[ mitsuru's tired look is miles ahead of everyone else's. yukari would almost be jealous if, you know, she wasn't clearly Going Through It. she enters, quickly crossing the room to sit on the edge of her bed. ]

Didn't we already talk about this? Talking and listening to you when something's up isn't "humoring you." It's called being a friend. So c'mon. [ yukari pats the space beside her and smiles back at mitsuru. ] Let it out.

[kirijo]

[ Recent as that conversation might have been, the reminder is very much needed ... Mitsuru hasn't felt like much of a friend, lately.

[ She sighs, offering Yukari a small but grateful smile as her shoulders sink slightly.

[ She doesn't find her voice so quickly, though. Despite the small relief that support offered her, explaining what had transpired was still ... complicated, to say the least. ​She remained quiet as she crossed to the bed, doing her level best to sort through the tangle of memories and emotions as she took the offered seat on the bed next to Yukari.

[ After a few seconds, she tentatively began. ]

It ... to explain it fully begins with the engagement that was arranged for me back home.

[piercedyourheart]

[ her lips twist into a scowl on impulse when mitsuru mentions her ex-fiance. she knows the broad outline: the board had engaged her to a huge jerk she barely even knew who was now (thankfully) no longer in the picture. mitsuru's carefully worded explanation of her ordeal and kotone's late night rants about how insensitive and thoughtless and misogynist and downright mean he was filled in a lot of the missing details.

yukari has just information to know it's for the best they never crossed paths. calling someone a slimy, manipulative creep to their face wouldn't have left the best first impression. ]

Yeah, I remember that. You're the one who called it off, right?

[kirijo]

I was, yes.

[ Mitsuru confirms with a nod. ]

I was ... deeply unhappy with the arrangement -- even before my former fiancé revealed what a despicable human being he was.

[ She doubts she needs to remind Yukari of that. Apart from Kotone, Yukari had been the only person with whom she'd openly discussed the matter ... she had told her how powerless she had felt ... how trapped, how it seemed as though the Group valued her as a bargaining chip rather than an individual based on her sex ... ]

The engagement was brokered around the time that Kotone and I began to spend time together as friends, and as you might imagine, I quickly came to confide in her a great deal.

[piercedyourheart]

[ "deeply unhappy" being boardroom speak for "totally miserable". leave it to mitsuru to be charitable to a previous business partner even after being outed as a jerk of the highest order.

yukari leans forward and rests her elbows on her knees, propping her chin in her upturned palms. ]

Well, yeah, that makes sense. Who didn't? [ which, now armed with the power of hindsight, she realizes was probably more to kotone's detriment than anyone could have foreseen. ] And when you hang out with someone a lot, it's only natural to open up about something that's bothering you.