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[ kotone doesn't meet mitsuru's eyes, either. finally, she shakes her head. ]
... You don't have to apologize. I had it coming. I know how it works, y'know? [ she laughs a brittle, slightly wet laugh, rubbing at her eyes. ] I end up being too much, or I can't be what they want, and people decide they're done with me. I guess I tricked myself into thinking it wasn't going to happen with you guys, too.
... You don't have to apologize. I had it coming. I know how it works, y'know? [ she laughs a brittle, slightly wet laugh, rubbing at her eyes. ] I end up being too much, or I can't be what they want, and people decide they're done with me. I guess I tricked myself into thinking it wasn't going to happen with you guys, too.
[ yukari is committed to staying quiet as they talk things out. this is a conversation between mitsuru and kotone and although she has plenty to add, this isn't the time. it can wait.
but then kotone says that and her razor-thin resolve snaps. ]
Kotone, no one's done with you, [ she interjects while sitting on the edge of the bed closest to her. ] We wouldn't even be here if we were. You aren't.... [ yukari takes a steadying breath, recognizing that her tone sounds dangerously close to angry when that's far from the truth. ]
No one is here to say you have to change or be less. Especially not me or Mitsuru.
but then kotone says that and her razor-thin resolve snaps. ]
Kotone, no one's done with you, [ she interjects while sitting on the edge of the bed closest to her. ] We wouldn't even be here if we were. You aren't.... [ yukari takes a steadying breath, recognizing that her tone sounds dangerously close to angry when that's far from the truth. ]
No one is here to say you have to change or be less. Especially not me or Mitsuru.
[ Mitsuru's grateful that Yukari spoke up ...
[ She'd looked up from the floor as Kotone talked, opened her mouth to reply ... but then she remembered what had happened the last time she'd spoken before she could think, and reflexively bit the words back before any of them could actually escape.
[ Yukari interjecting had bought her the moment she needed to recover ]
She's right, Kotone. [ Mitsuru takes a half-step forward. ] I didn't want to push you away ... and I know that it might sound hollow given what I did, but hurting you was the last thing I wanted.
[ She'd looked up from the floor as Kotone talked, opened her mouth to reply ... but then she remembered what had happened the last time she'd spoken before she could think, and reflexively bit the words back before any of them could actually escape.
[ Yukari interjecting had bought her the moment she needed to recover ]
She's right, Kotone. [ Mitsuru takes a half-step forward. ] I didn't want to push you away ... and I know that it might sound hollow given what I did, but hurting you was the last thing I wanted.
[ she looks up when yukari finally says something, taking that in. then, mitsuru says the same thing and steps closer.
kotone had been terrified that she'd ruined things, with both of them. things were so... different now. she looks at both of her friends in turn, and finally, takes a deep breath in an effort to steady herself. two beats, and she exhales. ]
... Okay. [ she sounds a little more certain, now. the edge of despair that had crept into her voice has vanished. ] So... let's talk.
kotone had been terrified that she'd ruined things, with both of them. things were so... different now. she looks at both of her friends in turn, and finally, takes a deep breath in an effort to steady herself. two beats, and she exhales. ]
... Okay. [ she sounds a little more certain, now. the edge of despair that had crept into her voice has vanished. ] So... let's talk.
[ Mitsuru had never stopped hoping that things could be repaired between them, but in situations like this, there's always that lingering doubt ... that voice whispering 'what if' until the worst-case scenario seems nearly unavoidable.
[ Hearing that note of certainty in Kotone's voice, however small it may be, releases some of the tension that Mitsuru had been carrying. It was concrete evidence that their relationship wasn't damaged beyond repair, and even though they still had a great deal to discuss before things could return to something that even vaguely resembled normal ... it's hard to describe what a relief that was.
[ Mitsuru signals her agreement with a small nod, and then took in a deep breath. She was quiet, briefly, trying to sort through the things that she needed to say and assemble those thoughts into some loose order. Then: ]
I was ... quite shaken, when you said that you would have come with me if I had decided to run away. Hearing you say it aloud, I realized the depths of my feelings for you.
[ She tries to swallow down the lump forming in her throat. ]
I don't know that I'd ever felt that way before, and as I struggled to understand that, so many other questions raced through my mind. Had I felt this way before without even realizing it? How long had I harbored these feelings? Did you feel the same way ...? It was all so overwhelming, and when you abruptly withdrew and pushed me away, I ...
[ Another deep breath to try and steady herself, but there was a raggedness to this one. ]
It hurt. I barely understood what I was feeling, and I didn't know what I might have done to upset you.
[ She draws into her self a little bit, arms folding across her midsection. ]
I don't say any of this to justify my behavior, because I should have never allowed that pain and confusion to dictate my actions, I just ... I want you to understand the state of mind that I was in for what followed.
['It's never mattered what I wanted, Mitsuru.'
['It's never mattered why I wanted it, either.'
['And I'm dead, so it's not going to start now.' ]
I couldn't stand hearing you talk about yourself like that ... nor could I stand the thought of losing you again ... something inside of me snapped. I shouted, and I knew what I had done the moment that I finished speaking. I ... I've regretted it ever since.
You were suffering so much more than I realized ... and when you tried to tell me, I snapped at you.
[ With that, Mitsuru uncrosses her arms, allows them to fall to her sides, and bows to Kotone, lowering her head until she's bent at the waist. ]
You deserved a friend in that moment, and I failed you mere minutes after promising that I would always be there for you ...
[ She's holding back tears. Even with her face hidden by the thick curtain of her hair, the way her voice quavers makes it all too obvious. ]
I'm sorry, Kotone ... I'm so, so sorry ...
[ Hearing that note of certainty in Kotone's voice, however small it may be, releases some of the tension that Mitsuru had been carrying. It was concrete evidence that their relationship wasn't damaged beyond repair, and even though they still had a great deal to discuss before things could return to something that even vaguely resembled normal ... it's hard to describe what a relief that was.
[ Mitsuru signals her agreement with a small nod, and then took in a deep breath. She was quiet, briefly, trying to sort through the things that she needed to say and assemble those thoughts into some loose order. Then: ]
I was ... quite shaken, when you said that you would have come with me if I had decided to run away. Hearing you say it aloud, I realized the depths of my feelings for you.
[ She tries to swallow down the lump forming in her throat. ]
I don't know that I'd ever felt that way before, and as I struggled to understand that, so many other questions raced through my mind. Had I felt this way before without even realizing it? How long had I harbored these feelings? Did you feel the same way ...? It was all so overwhelming, and when you abruptly withdrew and pushed me away, I ...
[ Another deep breath to try and steady herself, but there was a raggedness to this one. ]
It hurt. I barely understood what I was feeling, and I didn't know what I might have done to upset you.
[ She draws into her self a little bit, arms folding across her midsection. ]
I don't say any of this to justify my behavior, because I should have never allowed that pain and confusion to dictate my actions, I just ... I want you to understand the state of mind that I was in for what followed.
['It's never mattered what I wanted, Mitsuru.'
['It's never mattered why I wanted it, either.'
['And I'm dead, so it's not going to start now.' ]
I couldn't stand hearing you talk about yourself like that ... nor could I stand the thought of losing you again ... something inside of me snapped. I shouted, and I knew what I had done the moment that I finished speaking. I ... I've regretted it ever since.
You were suffering so much more than I realized ... and when you tried to tell me, I snapped at you.
[ With that, Mitsuru uncrosses her arms, allows them to fall to her sides, and bows to Kotone, lowering her head until she's bent at the waist. ]
You deserved a friend in that moment, and I failed you mere minutes after promising that I would always be there for you ...
[ She's holding back tears. Even with her face hidden by the thick curtain of her hair, the way her voice quavers makes it all too obvious. ]
I'm sorry, Kotone ... I'm so, so sorry ...
Edited 2021-10-19 02:41 (UTC)
[ yukari listened to this story not more than ten minutes ago, but watching mitsuru struggle to repeat it in front of the person she hurt, the person she lov--she can't finish the thought without something foul roiling beneath the surface. so she doesn't.--cares about hits harder than expected. while the situation wasn't the best, there's only so much blame mitsuru should put on herself. everything that had transpired on the mountain had been an accident, a stray thread of conversation that lead to an unraveling.
it's a far cry from her and kotone's moment in the quiet copse of trees where she knew her choice would be like throwing a match into a dry forest.
the guilt, always present ever since that night, weighs heavy in the silence that follows mitsuru's apology. hadn't she said they shouldn't waste another minute? and there's no better time than now to speak.
quietly: ]
And I'm sorry, too. For backing off after we, [ yukari pauses and shakes her head, deciding to start over with a more truthful version of events, ] after I kissed you. There was the reflection in the Hall and me messing up what you had with Aigis and....
Everything was so messed up. ...because I was the one who caused a lot of it. So rather than be the friend you needed, I pulled away.
[ 'i won't ever be that weak.' time has proven her a liar yet again. ]
You don't deserve that. Especially not from someone who considers you one of their best friends.
it's a far cry from her and kotone's moment in the quiet copse of trees where she knew her choice would be like throwing a match into a dry forest.
the guilt, always present ever since that night, weighs heavy in the silence that follows mitsuru's apology. hadn't she said they shouldn't waste another minute? and there's no better time than now to speak.
quietly: ]
And I'm sorry, too. For backing off after we, [ yukari pauses and shakes her head, deciding to start over with a more truthful version of events, ] after I kissed you. There was the reflection in the Hall and me messing up what you had with Aigis and....
Everything was so messed up. ...because I was the one who caused a lot of it. So rather than be the friend you needed, I pulled away.
[ 'i won't ever be that weak.' time has proven her a liar yet again. ]
You don't deserve that. Especially not from someone who considers you one of their best friends.
[ there is so, so much here. she has no idea where to begin. first with what mitsuru says—and how much mitsuru has obviously been tormenting herself over it, how much she'd hurt her that night in return, is obvious on its face. that, on its own, would be a lot to take in and try to find some response to.
then... then yukari adds her own apology. the mention of the kiss was one complicating factor, but then...
then, yukari mentions the one person kotone hasn't even been able to bear to say the name of. and kotone freezes. her eyes move away from her friends towards the floor, as she tries to breathe. her heart hammers in her chest, pulse in her ears, and then...
no. she refuses to make all of this about her. mitsuru and yukari are hurting, and trying to fix this. the least she can do is meet them halfway. ]
... C'mere. Both of you. [ she finally forces a breath and rises to her feet, pulling mitsuru into a hug and gesturing with her free arm for yukari to join in too. it's an imperfect response, and kotone will still need to address what they've said... but it's a start. she wants to stop keeping them at a distance, and there's no better way to demonstrate it. ]
then... then yukari adds her own apology. the mention of the kiss was one complicating factor, but then...
then, yukari mentions the one person kotone hasn't even been able to bear to say the name of. and kotone freezes. her eyes move away from her friends towards the floor, as she tries to breathe. her heart hammers in her chest, pulse in her ears, and then...
no. she refuses to make all of this about her. mitsuru and yukari are hurting, and trying to fix this. the least she can do is meet them halfway. ]
... C'mere. Both of you. [ she finally forces a breath and rises to her feet, pulling mitsuru into a hug and gesturing with her free arm for yukari to join in too. it's an imperfect response, and kotone will still need to address what they've said... but it's a start. she wants to stop keeping them at a distance, and there's no better way to demonstrate it. ]
[ As Yukari begins to speak, Mitsuru remains as she was, her head bowed to Kotone. She stays that way, silently allowing Yukari to say her piece until ...
[ ' ... after I kissed you.'
[ Her eyes snap up from the floorboards, back slowly straightening as her attention shifts from Kotone to Yukari. Something heavy pressed against her chest, settled in her stomach. She barely had time to process it before Yukari mentioned Aigis - that she'd messed up what Kotone had with her.
[ For a moment, Mitsuru is confused. She doesn't understand what Yukari means, so her gaze shifts back to Kotone. She watches Kotone stiffen, sees her eyes fall to the floor, hears the faint huff of breath leave her ...
[ And suddenly, she understands.
[ If you saw Kotone and Aigis together, it would be all but impossible not to see the deep connection that they shared. Mitsuru had always attributed it to the history that they shared, and Aigis's singular devotion to her. She ... she hadn't considered the possibility that their connection had become romantic, but given that history and devotion, it made all the sense in the world.
[ Being separated from the one that she ... from the one that she loved must have been agonizing for Kotone. Sharing a kiss with Yukari would have felt like a betrayal, and Mitsuru's own affections would have gouged at that open wound ...
[ Of course Kotone had pushed her away ...
[ When Kotone finally spoke, Mitsuru barely heard her. The words were distant and indistinct, as though whispered at the end of a hallway. She was dragged out of her own thoughts when Kotone embraced her, but not completely ...
[ Even through the immense relief that gesture brought, it still hurt to know that Kotone had fallen in love with someone else. It tore at her, knowing that there might have been a chance for them if she'd only understood her own heart well enough to act. It stung knowing that the two people she loved the most had shared the sort of intimacy that she wanted so dearly ...
[ ... and she felt guilty for feeling any of it.
[ That pain and guilt and heartache threatened to dominate her thoughts. Letting it happen would have been so, so easy ...
[ But she didn't. She pushed against it, pushed as hard as she could, because she was done allowing these petty, selfish, weak emotions poison the friendships that mattered the most to her.
[ Maybe she couldn't rid herself of those feelings entirely, but they weren't going to rule her any further, and they weren't going to stop her from being the sort of friend that those around her deserved.
[ After a moment of tension, she all but melts into the hug. She puts her arms around Kotone and squeezes her tight. She buries her face in the shorter girl's hair for a moment, feeling herself start to tear up ...
[ And then she, too extends her arm towards Yukari. ]
[ ' ... after I kissed you.'
[ Her eyes snap up from the floorboards, back slowly straightening as her attention shifts from Kotone to Yukari. Something heavy pressed against her chest, settled in her stomach. She barely had time to process it before Yukari mentioned Aigis - that she'd messed up what Kotone had with her.
[ For a moment, Mitsuru is confused. She doesn't understand what Yukari means, so her gaze shifts back to Kotone. She watches Kotone stiffen, sees her eyes fall to the floor, hears the faint huff of breath leave her ...
[ And suddenly, she understands.
[ If you saw Kotone and Aigis together, it would be all but impossible not to see the deep connection that they shared. Mitsuru had always attributed it to the history that they shared, and Aigis's singular devotion to her. She ... she hadn't considered the possibility that their connection had become romantic, but given that history and devotion, it made all the sense in the world.
[ Being separated from the one that she ... from the one that she loved must have been agonizing for Kotone. Sharing a kiss with Yukari would have felt like a betrayal, and Mitsuru's own affections would have gouged at that open wound ...
[ Of course Kotone had pushed her away ...
[ When Kotone finally spoke, Mitsuru barely heard her. The words were distant and indistinct, as though whispered at the end of a hallway. She was dragged out of her own thoughts when Kotone embraced her, but not completely ...
[ Even through the immense relief that gesture brought, it still hurt to know that Kotone had fallen in love with someone else. It tore at her, knowing that there might have been a chance for them if she'd only understood her own heart well enough to act. It stung knowing that the two people she loved the most had shared the sort of intimacy that she wanted so dearly ...
[ ... and she felt guilty for feeling any of it.
[ That pain and guilt and heartache threatened to dominate her thoughts. Letting it happen would have been so, so easy ...
[ But she didn't. She pushed against it, pushed as hard as she could, because she was done allowing these petty, selfish, weak emotions poison the friendships that mattered the most to her.
[ Maybe she couldn't rid herself of those feelings entirely, but they weren't going to rule her any further, and they weren't going to stop her from being the sort of friend that those around her deserved.
[ After a moment of tension, she all but melts into the hug. She puts her arms around Kotone and squeezes her tight. She buries her face in the shorter girl's hair for a moment, feeling herself start to tear up ...
[ And then she, too extends her arm towards Yukari. ]
Edited 2021-10-29 04:45 (UTC)
so i know theres no actual halloween here but people were kind of excited for it anyway
and i think theres a concert that day too
did you want to do anything? jeez did we even get the chance celebrate last year
[ going to tartarus and fighting scary monsters is kind of like getting in the holiday spirit. right? ]
and i think theres a concert that day too
did you want to do anything? jeez did we even get the chance celebrate last year
[ going to tartarus and fighting scary monsters is kind of like getting in the holiday spirit. right? ]
me neither
but kotone keeps sending texts like "🥺 dress up with me" and showing me costume ideas for three people
so your plans may be getting made for you
but kotone keeps sending texts like "🥺 dress up with me" and showing me costume ideas for three people
so your plans may be getting made for you
[ as a reply, mitsuru receives several screenshots of she and kotone's text chain. there's Legally Distinct naruto and sailor moon, m&m costumes, pictures of visual kei bands.... ]
shes had a few ideas
shes had a few ideas
That's quite the colorful spread.
[ Though, to be perfectly honest, that Kotone would come up with such a variety of costumes that she herself would never think to wear isn't exactly surprising. ]
I'm not certain how I feel about all of these possibilities ... but I do like the idea of the three of us sharing a theme. I've never gotten to do something like that before.
[ Though, to be perfectly honest, that Kotone would come up with such a variety of costumes that she herself would never think to wear isn't exactly surprising. ]
I'm not certain how I feel about all of these possibilities ... but I do like the idea of the three of us sharing a theme. I've never gotten to do something like that before.
colorful is one way to put it
[ yukari has a few other ways, but "endearing" is the one word that's popping out the most in her vocabulary. for better or worse. ]
me neither. i honestly dont remember the last time i dressed up for halloween
so it could be...idk
kinda fun. especially if you joined in
but you have to be the one to tell her we are not being candy
[ yukari has a few other ways, but "endearing" is the one word that's popping out the most in her vocabulary. for better or worse. ]
me neither. i honestly dont remember the last time i dressed up for halloween
so it could be...idk
kinda fun. especially if you joined in
but you have to be the one to tell her we are not being candy
It probably wouldn't surprise you to hear that Halloween wasn't a holiday that my family put much effort into celebrating. I recall dressing up a few times when I was young, but after the laboratory explosion, most holiday festivities fell by the wayside.
Getting to go back to that, and share that experience with the two of you, is an idea that I very much like. If I have to be the one to reject ideas, so be it.
Getting to go back to that, and share that experience with the two of you, is an idea that I very much like. If I have to be the one to reject ideas, so be it.
we didnt really do a lot for halloween after dad died either
hard to trick or treat when you dont know the neighborhood
[ constantly moving around from place to place made every place look the same. not to mention you never knew which neighbor might recognize your family name. it was easier and safer to stay at home, peering out a window to watch normal, happy families walk unfamiliar streets and ignore the sting of loneliness and jealousy in her chest. ]
i guess we'll have to make up for lost time
but arent you used to rejecting ideas with the student council
it feels like thats half of the job
hard to trick or treat when you dont know the neighborhood
[ constantly moving around from place to place made every place look the same. not to mention you never knew which neighbor might recognize your family name. it was easier and safer to stay at home, peering out a window to watch normal, happy families walk unfamiliar streets and ignore the sting of loneliness and jealousy in her chest. ]
i guess we'll have to make up for lost time
but arent you used to rejecting ideas with the student council
it feels like thats half of the job
[ mitsuru, that's kinda gay. and also very sweet. good thing she isn't around to see yukari's cheeks turn pink when the notification pops up on her phone. ]
you say that now
just wait until we're deadlocked on what costumes to pick out
you say that now
just wait until we're deadlocked on what costumes to pick out
[ unease prickles under her skin in the long silence that follows. sidestepping around everything that'd transpired at the hall may not have been the best decision, but derailing mitsuru's pain to talk about herself had felt scummy at best, disingenuous at worst. the idea of it turns her stomach.
she'll apologize for that later (sorry for not trusting you, sorry for hiding away again, sorry for being me, i'm so sorry), but evenly meets mitsuru's wide-eyed stare for a brief moment before turning back to kotone. yukari doesn't miss the way she all but flinches at the briefest mention of aigis. there'd been a time where every other sentence was about her, and now she couldn't even bear to hear the name of the girl she loves.
they will have to talk about her, painful as it may be. it won't be tonight or tomorrow, but ignoring the elephant in the room is untenable. it's what caused this whole mess in the first place. continuing to do so would just bring them right where they started. not that they've gone very far in the last few months.
still, they've made a start, however tentative it may be, and the hug between mitsuru and kotone bleeds most of the tension out of the room. she sighs, shoulders drooping in relief as the corners of her mouth curl upward. maybe things can finally get back to their own weird brand of normal.
or at least that was her thought before both of them ask her to join in to the embrace. it's far more kindness than yukari deserves considering her role in all this, but she can't deny the offer warms her from the inside out.
and if they ask, all she can do is step forward to meet them.
tentatively, yukari steps into the hug and practically melts at the physical contact, leaning into mitsuru's side as she wraps an arm around kotone's waist.
god, she'd missed them. ]
she'll apologize for that later (sorry for not trusting you, sorry for hiding away again, sorry for being me, i'm so sorry), but evenly meets mitsuru's wide-eyed stare for a brief moment before turning back to kotone. yukari doesn't miss the way she all but flinches at the briefest mention of aigis. there'd been a time where every other sentence was about her, and now she couldn't even bear to hear the name of the girl she loves.
they will have to talk about her, painful as it may be. it won't be tonight or tomorrow, but ignoring the elephant in the room is untenable. it's what caused this whole mess in the first place. continuing to do so would just bring them right where they started. not that they've gone very far in the last few months.
still, they've made a start, however tentative it may be, and the hug between mitsuru and kotone bleeds most of the tension out of the room. she sighs, shoulders drooping in relief as the corners of her mouth curl upward. maybe things can finally get back to their own weird brand of normal.
or at least that was her thought before both of them ask her to join in to the embrace. it's far more kindness than yukari deserves considering her role in all this, but she can't deny the offer warms her from the inside out.
and if they ask, all she can do is step forward to meet them.
tentatively, yukari steps into the hug and practically melts at the physical contact, leaning into mitsuru's side as she wraps an arm around kotone's waist.
god, she'd missed them. ]
[ kotone all but melts herself from the affection and warmth of all of this. her arm stays firmly around mitsuru's waist, leaning into the contact from her co-leader as she pulls yukari a little closer as well. her eyes slip closed, breathing slowing as she tries to simply... relax. this sort of contact is more familiar with yukari, but it feels right with both of them. ]
I don't... really know what I want, [ she admits that at last, half against yukari's shoulder, ] but... she wouldn't want me to just sit and pine, would she?
[ kotone goes quiet, even as she opens her eyes again. the suggestion of what might come next still feels too big. ]
I don't... really know what I want, [ she admits that at last, half against yukari's shoulder, ] but... she wouldn't want me to just sit and pine, would she?
[ kotone goes quiet, even as she opens her eyes again. the suggestion of what might come next still feels too big. ]
[ Just like Kotone, Mitsuru allows her eyes to drift shut once Yukari enters the embrace.
[ She says nothing. She simply savors the relief washing over her in waves, and the warmth of having them both within her arms.
[ When Kotone speaks, her eyes open but she doesn't speak in kind. At least not for a moment or two, while she digests what was said ... and what those words might imply. ]
I ...
[ She hesitates. Even though she agrees, doing so outright feels ... self-serving. Even though there's a flicker of hope within her, she doesn't want whatever advice she gives to be colored by the ... the romantic interest she harbors. ]
I certainly don't think she would want you to feel this alone ... or to isolate yourself.
[ She looks to Yukari. She's ... she's not sure what insight she's searching for, but Yukari always seems to figure out what needs to be said. ]
[ She says nothing. She simply savors the relief washing over her in waves, and the warmth of having them both within her arms.
[ When Kotone speaks, her eyes open but she doesn't speak in kind. At least not for a moment or two, while she digests what was said ... and what those words might imply. ]
I ...
[ She hesitates. Even though she agrees, doing so outright feels ... self-serving. Even though there's a flicker of hope within her, she doesn't want whatever advice she gives to be colored by the ... the romantic interest she harbors. ]
I certainly don't think she would want you to feel this alone ... or to isolate yourself.
[ She looks to Yukari. She's ... she's not sure what insight she's searching for, but Yukari always seems to figure out what needs to be said. ]
[ yukari looks back at mitsuru with wide eyes, eyebrows raised in mild surprise. the implications are...a lot. especially since they've all admitted there are feelings too intense for 'just friends' between the three of them.
regardless of the circumstances, the answer is obvious. ]
Mitsuru's right. [ yukari turns toward kotone, voice soft and kiss to her forehead even softer. ] Even if you aren't sure what you want or how to get it, she'd want you to be happy. Use this second chance to live the best life you can. Whatever that might look like.
regardless of the circumstances, the answer is obvious. ]
Mitsuru's right. [ yukari turns toward kotone, voice soft and kiss to her forehead even softer. ] Even if you aren't sure what you want or how to get it, she'd want you to be happy. Use this second chance to live the best life you can. Whatever that might look like.
[ she listens as mitsuru and yukari speak up, relaxing against them both. her eyes widen a fraction at the feeling of yukari's lips, but then...
she can't do this, some part of her still insists. even so... kotone silences that voice. she finally nods against yukari, and shifts her position, eyed slipping closed as she moves up to brush her lips against mitsuru's. talking about this is... hard, still nearly impossibly so, but she knows what she wants. her arm stays firmly around yukari as well, almost desperate to keep her close. ]
she can't do this, some part of her still insists. even so... kotone silences that voice. she finally nods against yukari, and shifts her position, eyed slipping closed as she moves up to brush her lips against mitsuru's. talking about this is... hard, still nearly impossibly so, but she knows what she wants. her arm stays firmly around yukari as well, almost desperate to keep her close. ]
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